My Actifit Report Card: May 23 2022
I find myself wondering if my training is progressing me to an end goal. There are moments where I question my motivation and whether it is a lie I repeat to enforce some sort of dogged determination resulting in joints and bones irreversible damage. Only to find this path up another mountain peak is something that will enlighten my soul. Am I being stubborn that I fail to see the path is no longer the way my steps are leading me to this chosen peak.
Training was especially hard for me tonight. Like the gloomy day in the path it has permeated into my fibre at tonight's class. My pride I know was damage. There was a kink in my armor, once thought perfect. It could be my non challant way of training now boring me in prideful arse. The time has caught up with me. That dogged pride is making me question myself it could be a good thing or a real stoic way that has carried me forward in the years that I have been person my martial mountain peak.
Telling of lacking skill.
Pushing me every forward into my abyss.
There is no darkness, other than what I've placed there for myself to break.
Thoughts of which will break first, me or the wall I've built as a challenge to me.
Placed there as a reminder of how insignificant I am compared to the cosmos.
I hope I've not lost my way. Budged ever slowly away from my once full cup, emptied to refill again with other new knowledge. Adapted. Adopted. Consumed.
Bah. Self doubt and me myself and I are the three hardest enemies I've faced in the past and now I'm front of me again....
Meet my contribution to my gene pool.