Everything about Me and Sports! #parenting #overlove #toxiclove

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What an interesting challenge for me to write!!! My Favourite Sports? It's "Badminton". Can I go now? xD

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My memory starts with when I was 5 years old. I was advised that "Big Boys" are bad, so I must make friends of my age. I was only "SON" of my parents and they think it's "LOVE" to protect me in any way they want. There were only 24 flats in that building. Sports are mostly played with friends and in my case, I was been narrowed down to a point that I have 3 to 5 friends. Fair enough right? NO!!!! I was only allowed to play which can be seen by my Flat's window on the third floor. The ground was narrowed down for me, the people were taken away and I was unaware of what's happened. If I have to pick a character who's responsible for this then it would be "ME". We grow and fight the resistance so why can't I?

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As a grew up till the age of 12 (5-12 journey), I know my heart wanted to play 2 games at that point. Gulli Danda (a game played by children specifically in Pakistan and India) and Cricket. My other friends start to play with the "BIG BOYS" at some point in life and I was left alone (Remember I can only play under the surveillance of "EYE" and the ground was not in that area). Gulli Danda was not only off the limits because of area restriction but it was seen as a bad game by them. I know clothes do get dirty (dirt) playing it but listen "I just wanted to play a damn game". I have many clothes now in life and they do get dirty so what was the point I missed?

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There was a sitting area (not exactly but we do sit there) and I just sit there under the observation of "EYE" and saw those friends and "BIG BOYS" play Gulli Danda. They were like stars to me far far away from my limits as I can see them but not reach them. I saw them as free souls enjoying their lives to the fullest.

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Cricket was the sport they do play under the "EYE" as well as the big ground but there was one thing......... There were four sides, two were covered by two schools and one was our flats while the rest was open. No matter what you or I think, If I play there with other friends two major hurdles were there. Fear of breaking the glass of windows and ball going to the schools. I remember there was a friend of mine whose father always give him a Icecream each time he breaks a window glass. Maybe my dad would have done the same but the fear at that point was too much. I was being treated with too much care and I can't even physically or mentally think about climbing those walls to get the ball each time I hit. I was holding BAT at some points in life but always that little boy was not shooting with his full energy thinking about the window glass or just walls. How many times those friends would have climbed for me to get the ball on my turn to climb? I stopped playing Cricket. I hope you would understand my feelings and what I was going through.

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My Father had a friend with whose "SON" I can play with. Why it's important? Because now I can go to a different Flat and a "GROUND". YAY!!!! But things are not always simple. When I stepped to the ground without an "EYE", I felt like I am flying. It was too late already. My heart and brain were not ready to hold the BAT again, the fear was within my soul. I enjoyed being Umpire because there was no one to teach me, it was a self-learning experience and I already gave up and settled for less.
(Sorry for going a bit off-topic and a sad reality check that friend died with Naegleria at the age of approx 20).

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When I was in 5th Grade (school life), I once visited my sister's University and we played basketball there. I know it was not like a real game because we just stand on different points and try to throw the ball in the basket. I still remember when I was telling my best friend about my feelings, happiness, and joy about my simple 2 baskets. In his mind maybe he was thinking: "Dude just relax. You didn't save the world. It was just you standing and throwing the ball in that hole. Dah!".

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It was time to get out of my city. YAY (Yes, behind the screen I am saying "YAY" also)!!! I was in Lahore and they had Badminton Court in their home. Now it was the time, I was not judged by society for my lack of sports skills and I don't have to bare those weird looks or words. Of course, there were more people then the court's capacity so it was not only me playing all the time as we all were playing on their turn. Even my Cousins don't play with me, I was too boring for them to play except for one girl. Just in case you are thinking anything romantic so let me spoil that for you, she was older in age than me and was already engaged (In my slang we can call it "API" meaning "Big Sister"). So she don't decide to play with me because she don't know how to play instead she was a very good player. She taught me everything like a "Friendly Teacher". Our stay was coming to an end in Heaven. It was only 48 hours but enough for me to get rid of my fears. Without her maybe I might not hold a sports item ever in life with confidence.

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I was in College now (it's a two years study experience/environment). We had a period called "PT aka Physical Training". Most of the time I was in Library (Yes, I read a lot) or ground but not playing instead, doing physics numericals.
I was not doing numericals as I want to study but I was using it as an escape way so no one can invite me to play and find out that I can't play (or in my mind, I accepted I can't play so I must not try). The guy from another section sensed it somehow or maybe not. He approached me and asked for help in solving a physics problem. I gave him some real-life examples and solve that whole problem with real-life assumptions. He was happy to find me in his life. Now, he doesn't have to remember a formula and plot values in it. The study becomes fun for me and him likewise. He showed me some math tricks too. One day, he finally asked me the life-changing question, "What is your favorite sport?". Wow, Finally it's happening. In a shy and fearful way, I told him "Badminton". He reacted excitedly and told me a place where He played Badminton with his friends and invited me to join him. I delivered my feelings, fears, and doubts to him through a thoughtful conversation. He somehow arranged an Auditorium for me (They only place chairs and stuff when there will be an event) in College and for few weeks or months, we played there without any element that should weaken my confidence. Ya, ya you can call him a "SUPERHERO", he deserves it. After I got comfortable playing Badminton we started playing in open space. As we studied in a separate education system for boys and girls, Our new PT (Physical training) period was aligned with girls break/lunchtime. The place where we played was in the middle of the boys and girls building. When we play it's like 45 minutes in which 15 minutes of time girls were going from classes to ground and ground to classes. It's like I am on the land and there are multi "EYES" watching me from the sky (terrace). It was hard for me to gain confidence but with the help of my "SUPERHERO", I managed to play even in those conditions. I enjoyed playing Badminton for the rest of the days in my college life and I remember, My "SUPERHERO" one day gave me a sports certificate from college administration on the ending days with my name written on it. I was like, DUDE I can't even play properly.

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There was another side of the story happening parallelly in this college time. I used to go to college through a bus (fixed/same) and I also sit with my best friend. There was a "GIRL" who sat just right next to us in front seat. She listens to all my talks while I talk with my best friend related to Badminton (just like I am sharing now) and in her heart, she fell in love with me. She was fearful to ask me on a date but wanted to. There was a time when I was absent for a day and she cried for me, who was I for her? I anticipated that I would take the peace of someone. My absence would make her sick too. In short, She loved me so much and maybe still does. One day she asked for my notes and when she returned me after a day to my surprise, there was a letter of Proposal. It was beautifully hand-crafted. When I opened my social media, I saw texts from her. I replied to her, This is too early. I am not ready for anything like this. I backed my statements with logical reasoning and explained to her if she loves me is not my fault. On the next day, I asked for her notes and returned the card in the same way. It all happened quietly/anonymously. I still feel guilty on very rare occasions in life that I hurt her but I know I did the right thing. She might be thanking me one day in her prayers as I guided her with some valuable lessons while respectably rejecting her.

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Now, I play Badminton whenever I get a chance. It's the only sport I know. I don't like the competitive version of it, I just like to play it with peace of mind in the sense that I wanna keep playing and not focus on scoring. Even on my recent visit to Lahore, I made new friends and made in a new "Badminton Court" that I discovered for my Love of Badminton. In Karachi, Johar, Maybe someday I will find a Badminton court and friends to play with daily.

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Thanks, Hive Learners Team for hosting this contest. When I started writing my post, I wasn't sure if Sports writing is my niche or style of writing. As a storyteller, personal life blogger, fictional writer, freedom writer, ethical writer, and entrepreneurial writer, I can proudly say I gave my 100% effort for my entry and the rest is up to the readers to decide.