My Actifit Report Card: July 23 2021
Have you ever felt so much pained in your heart that it left you too small or no little strength to move? That's how I felt today, I was so weak to move out from my bed all day or even do anything for myself.
All-day on the bed, pressing and playing with my phone and the window blond covered to prevent the beautiful sunshine from penetrating the room leaving the room or dark and heavy like my heart.
Got to know the ticking of the time with my phone exactly how I got to know how my heart pains with every tick and best of my heart.
Imagine having so much in your mind that your heart is heavy and begging to be released and your head pleading to explode from too much heat to reduce the tension but yet still having little or no reason why your heart is aching and crying even though no one sees the tears all of a sudden.
Imagine having an answer to the turmoil going on in your head but refusing to believe that is the final answer and still ready to take chances even when you know it's still going to be what you know.
Imagine having thousands of people around you but you still got that feeling that someone is missing and the feeling of loneliness and boredom about yourself and everything around you.
Being around the people you know but it seems as though there are what we call strangers and you are not just ready to be acquainted with them because it makes no difference and it seems as though they are not the people you want to be acquainted with.
That's the feeling I have right now, the feeling to spill all out but not ready to spill it all out because no one will understand, or better still, I will end up saying nothing and nonsense.
The feeling of crying but still wondering why the tears aren't coming and that is because the tears are actually dried up already and my eyes are tired of crying and it just wants to smile and be carefree like it always does but it can't because the heart is in a mess.
The heart feels shitty right now, and would love to take a chance but drained and out of strength, I can only feel it from the constant pounding and ticking.
Given thousands of reasons why it should get up, wipe its ass, and move on but the reasons aren't strong enough because there is tangible evidence to prove.
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