A little bit of Monika in my life: November 1st 2023

Do you know that song? It’s an old one, from the 90’s. My ex husband and I used to dance our socks off to this song back in a day 😂 That’s all that’s playing in my head as I walk at my lunch break today. The title is different than the title of this post, that’s just one line from it’s lyrics btw.

Cheesy or not, it feels amazing to hear something different than a constant abuse or worry in my head. It’s been a tough second half of the year for me, but I guess this song is playing in my head, as I just started to feel a little bit like myself again and not the grumpy/worried/anxious version of me that seem to have taken over my body and mind for a while.

I said I’ll take some time off from my online activities, while I’m in my retrospection and healing stage, cause I know myself well. Forcing myself to write and interact at these times would be pointless. Nothing great can come out of me at these times, because the flow is blocked.

And when the flow is back, it spills out of me effortlessly. Even at 2am, when I need to wake up at 6am for work 😂

What made the energy flow again?

A few things really:

• continued daily physical activities despite the lack of reports of those;

• making up my mind about the dates of my holiday in Poland and booking the ferry tickets - indecision really messes up my head;

• sorting out another issue that was bothering me for a while;

• exciting weekend ahead;

• a growing excitement

about spending xmas 🎄 with my parents;

• surprisingly removing crystals from my bedroom according to my holistic doctor’s advice;

• pre-workout drink he also recommended;

• relaxing into some difficult emotions that have been surfacing lately.

Now, I don’t know if any of these in particular had more significance in my overall improvement, but these are all the changes I’ve made since the beginning of this week, hence why I’m listing them all.

As mentioned, my physical activities are well on track. Pretty much every day I feel my fitbit vibrating to tell me I’ve reached my daily goal of 10k steps. Clearly the physical activity was not enough and some other steps needed to be taken.

The cover picture of this post is from last year’s visit to Poland and mushroom hunting with my auntie. I really wanted to repeat this blissful time we had together again this year, but in truth I also really feel like spending xmas with my parents. On top of it all I kinda wanted to escape the madness of work, but a part of me whispered that it’s time to stop hiding from the tough times. I can handle the busy times and the stressful times as well as blissful times. That’s what I’m learning to do these days.

As a result I might not even get to see my auntie this time round, but we’ve been chatting more these days on whatsapp and she sends me regular pictures of buckets full of yummy boletes she picks up from her nearby forest to share our love for mushrooms.

Maybe I’ll go and visit another auntie this time, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Until next walk 💙

Daily Activity,Walking

Height 157 cm		Weight 69 kg		Body Fat %
Waist cm		Thighs cm		Chest cm