This Cleveland Browns fan is at a crossroads

I have been a Cleveland Browns fan for most of my life, and as I am 55 years old, that's a pretty long time. I have been "internet quiet" for most of this week because I had a twitch in the back of my head that a proverbial shoe was about to drop related to my beloved Browns. When I learned a couple of weeks ago that the Browns were in the mix for acquiring Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson I was troubled, because the franchise I love, who has been on the forefront of woman's issues regarding the NFL and had promoted a large about of women in the organization to include the coaching staff (See Callie Brownson) be in the market for an accused serial predator, who although to this day has not been convicted of any crime and despite the fact, a grand jury decided not to prosecute him for the many accusations against him by more than 22 massage therapists for a lack of evidence, the fact remains that there are 22 civil suits against Watson for sexual abuse, assault, and inappropriate conduct.

Let me be clear, he has not been accused or charged with a criminal offense, and because of that, and per the NFL Player's Union, he is eligible to play in the NFL pending the outcome of his civil suits.

I can not put all of my thoughts down in one post... I lack the vocabulary and the prose to firmly express what I am feeling at this moment. I would instead direct you to two sources that can best describe how I am feeling and what I am going through internally. The first is the esteemed columnist Peter King. here is the link to his column:

Football Morning in America

The second is a Weekly podcast that I subscribe to. This is hosted by Three women and they provide their unique perspective on the whole situation and manage to leave the football relevancy out of it:

That's What B Said

Read and listen to these examples and you will see exactly how I am feeling. I haven't decided if my fandom for the Browns outweighs the situation, but that will come in time. Right now, I feel betrayed and I feel sad.

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