The Weirdest Football Mascots Ever

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(Edited)

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There are many things that are missing from the game of football during these dark Covid times. Number 1 of course is the fans and the atmosphere that they provide but with that lack of in-stadium support we also miss out on all the associated entertainment.

Every club has its obligatory mascot, many of whom have been doing the job for decades and ultimately their purpose is to provide a little light entertainment to those who may take the game a that bit too seriously. The general fun that accompanies them is perhaps best encapsulated by the annual Mascot Grand National that sees competitors from across the country sprint in full costume for the much-converted title of fastest football mascot in the land.

While most fans can feel at least some affinity towards their club's mascot there have however been those across the years that have seemed odd, to say the least. Here we look at a list of the weirdest football mascots ever!

Scunny Bunny - Scunthorpe United

You've got to feel for Scunny Bunny the mascot of Scunthorpe United, not only does he appear to be an overweight rodent with a debilitating case of myxomatosis but his own fans once turned against him. In 2007 a petition was created by the Scunthorpe faithful to have Scunny replaced by a lion. Apparently, a bunny costume just wasn't intimidating enough for Iron's fans who have clearly never watched the movie Donnie Darko.

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Moonchester and Moonbeam - Manchester City

The majority of these weird mascots come with the mandatory half-baked origin back story the like of which is usually reserved for Marvel Comic films. Manchester City decided to go to such lengths with their mascots concocting the tail of 2 aliens from Blue Moon that have travelled across time and space to support the Citizens, abduct small children (as demonstrated in the picture) and teach the world of football about the wonders of breaching financial fair play rules.

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Boiler Man- West Brom

A relative new-comer to the scene is West Brom's mascot Boiler Man. No back-story here just good old fashioned marketing as West Brom sell-out their half time entertainment to a sponsor selling, you guessed it, boilers. I wonder whether impulse purchases of combi-boilers in the Midlands have risen dramatically since his arrival? Whatever the answer he certainly is heating things up at the Hawthorns (all other crap puns welcome)

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Gunnersaurus - Arsenal

Only one of the characters in the picture below is extinct - correct answers below in the comments will win a prize! You've got to feel for Gunnersarus, a creature that has survived 60million years and the extinction of the rest of his kind only to find himself having to watch Arsenal week in week out. I can only imagine that he sits at home wishing for the day that meteor finally returns to finish the job.

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Kingsley - Partick Thistle

I think that this mascot should probably come with some kind of a warning that he may not be suitable for small children. What appears to me the stuff of infant nightmares is, in fact, the creation of renowned Glasgow based artist David Shrigley who states that the mascot represents the angst that football fans feel. Ummm, yeah ok David, I have to say I was feeling fairly relaxed until I saw the monstrosity that your mind created.

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Kingsley's weirdness has sparked a range of memes around the internet. Here are a few of the best that I could find

Lisa Simpson on meth

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The latest addition to the Mr Men collection

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The after dark edition of the Teletubbies

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And finally the below which is my own personal addition to the Kingsley inspired meme collection and a homage to the shower scene from the movie Alien 3

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9 comments
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Was half expecting Arsenal's mascot to be a toilet....

It's not easy being a gunner right now!

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It could yet be! Gunnersaurus was made redundant last year, not even put on Furlough, just given the axe as Arsenal looked to cut costs. Apparently, Mesut Ozil offered to pay the guy's wages so he didn't get fired. I guess Mesut can sympathise with someone who gets paid an obscene amount of money to do next to nothing!

Gunnersaurus was then brought back earlier this year but now I hear that Arsenal are considering replacing him yet again. So who knows what you might end up with? Maybe just Ian Wright in his flat cap running around the pitch edge for 90mins?

As you can see, for a Spurs fan I know an obscene amount about Arsenal's mascot which in many ways seems to mirror Arsenals search for a half-decent centre back after the retirement of Adams and Keown. That ended with you stealing Sol Campbell from us so you never know, you could yet sign Lily here

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I guess Mesut can sympathise with someone who gets paid an obscene amount of money to do next to nothing!

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I now have a vivid picture of Ian Wright running around as a mascot geeing up the crowd!

I couldn't believe when Sol joined Arsenal. I never thought he'd consider it even. It would be like Roy Keane signing for Liverpool...

Money does funny things to people's priorities and faithfulness.

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Haha. That was fun to read buddy.
I bet you know me. I'm your friend from scorum. Haha. nice to see you here

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Hey man. Yeah of course I remember. Hope things are good with you

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Kingley. Ha. I saw him last year in some race. I thought it was a nightmare

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