Unreciprocated Love
For those into F1 racing - turn back now.
Though, you have to admit, this little Lego McLaren Smallsteps built is pretty cute. As is her excitement at Oscar Piastri getting pole position and winning a race. She has got into it far more than I thought she would, though it is still hard for her to maintain commitment all the way through a full race - when her friends are calling her to go outside and play.
Which is totally acceptable.
In these cases, we watch the 30 minute highlights after the race is done and dusted.
But as said, this isn't about motor racing, it is just that I took a few photos and wanted to use them straight away, as is my impatient custom. However, this is more of a random post to follow up on a random chance encounter from a few months ago, where I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in over a decade who lives on the other side of the country now. And, we agreed that we would meet up in the future when he and his soon-to-be wife were next visiting. Which was tonight.
It was awesome to spend some time with them.
We only had a couple hours over a dinner, as they are only here overnight for a gig and will take off again in the morning. But, my wife had only very briefly met my friend way, way back, and other than a brief coffee a couple months ago, I hadn't spoken with his fiancé. Who is awesome. I am always happy when my friends are in relationships with good people. Though over the many years, there are plenty of not so suitable people also. I can't say that they were bad, because they might have been perfect for someone else perhaps.
But, what is pretty cool about this couple, is that after 15 years together, they are finally going to bite the bullet and get married. Marriage itself might not be the most important thing in the world, and they aren't even going to have a wedding, but my friend who is just over fifty now, wanted to make it very clear that he is committed.
Thick and thin.
It seems like a silly thing these days to many, but a lot of people want to have strong relationships, but don't actually take their commitment seriously. They get into the relationship with the intention to cherish and in sickness and in health kind of thinking, but do the actions really align with that, do people truly act on their intentions, or is it just more non-serious fluff, thoughts and words in the moment, with no real weight behind them?
I reckon most people's words are weightless these days.
And no, it isn't even about doing what is said one will do, because between saying and the doing, conditions can change. However, it is about having the personal integrity to live one's beliefs openly, unreservedly and unabashedly. Most people hold back, because they don't want to get hurt, they don't want to be vulnerable, they don't want to give, unless they are going to get something in return. People say they love, but really, they are just looking to trade with another.
Love doesn't require reciprocation.
And while that is what I believe, I often fail to fully live it also. It is very easy to fall into poor behaviours and get caught in transactional relationships instead of giving relationships, because of all of the past baggage that is carried along inside, plus all of the pressures of life.
But I am trying to be better.
I owe it to myself.
Life is all about relationships and they are the most important thing in our experience, because they are our experience. We live in relation to people whether they are resent, past, or non-existent. We live in relation to our environment too, and our thoughts, and our feelings. We live in relation to everything and our experience with everything is how we evaluate whether life is good, bad, or worth living at all. And if one relationship gets too far out of alignment, it will poison all other relationships potentially to the point that they are unsustainable.
And of course, we are in a relationship with ourselves also.
If we can't love without expectation of reciprocation, is it love?
Taraz
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It is such a necessary reflection, authenticity in relationships, putting your feet firmly on the ground. We live in an often superficial world, but your friend's commitment after 15 years resonates powerfully, so much so that it defies ‘words without weight’. I admire the honesty in recognising the struggle for genuine, non-transactional love; and the importance of cultivating that personal integrity. These deep connections, with others and with oneself. As you rightly say, it is the true pillar of life experience. May they be happily ever after.
Much like much of the discourse on the internet, we are conditioned to look to score points against one another, and this is now a part of many relationships. The point scoring might be different, but it is still there for many.
Excuse me, I'm a F1 fan, and it isn't all about the action on track, the drama, the glamour, the vroom vroom. Like any sport, it is about strengthening relationships with your friends, family, and spending time together to enjoy something together.
So I'm not turning back. I'm gonna nod in approval that you're using the absolute cash cow that is corporate F1 (and lego!) to help strengthen your relationship with your family.
That's a good thing.
F1 has helped me strengthen already strong relationships, and make new ones, even here on HIVE :D
There are some pretty good looking kits out there at the moment.
This is the first season that I have paid to get access, which means this is the first time I have been a le to watch in about 15 years. This season seems decent too!
When I went to Melbourne for a concert recently, it was the week before the F1 season. My sister in law knows nothing about F1, and she was so surprised about ALL the F1 stuff everywhere, even when she suggested we wander through the Lego store to take a look at the lego flowers, or whatever it is was that she wanted to point out.
There was a large amount of caltrops (lego) around the place. I don't collect lego, but we all have our vices. While I'm not in the plastic crack cult, I have ordered a significant amount of cardboard crack, for the upcoming Final Fantasy / Magic the Gathering cross over.
No doubt you'll see pictures in my inevitable posts on the topic.
One day, I will take the family to a race so that they can experience the full four days, not just the racing. It should be pretty easy in Europe - still expensive though.
Not as expensive as some of those card game vices though!
Any preference for which one? I'd love to go to Spa, only because that lush forest biome is BEAUTIFUL.
Spain is another strong contender for the hordes of gothic architecture. All the other places just feel way too "purpose built" race track for my liking, and don't have the other bits and pieces that would hold me in wonder outside of the race.
Of course, it is a longer trip from Australia, so the sundries would have to be worthwhile. :D
Not sure which. Barcelona would be great, as the city rocks. And Italy is always a nice place to visit. While a terrible race, there is something about Monaco - perhaps when I have a yacht.
I've been to Monaco, not even during a race. It felt like... uhh, too much money required. :D
Yeah - the money is the issue there for sure. Next time... you can stay on my yacht.
It feels good to be in a relationship when both partners understand each other without judging themselves wrongly which is a good way to accept their relationship as been perfect even if there is no perfect relationship. Lack of understanding and trust wouldn't enable a relationship to last as this would lead to an early break up as well.
No one is perfect as we all have our strength and weaknesses which both partners needs to understand in a relationship. Building a good relationship requires both partners to work together and if this can be put to place without comparision to other people's relationship then they are in for a healthy relationship.
Strengths and weaknesses for sure. But, even with those, it is possible to behave with integrity and be open, otherwise those weaknesses amplify.
Neither the smile, nor the I love yous, nor the hugs should be left for later.
Love always matures in commitment.
Love yourself, love and let yourself be loved... it's reciprocity,it's love ❤️.
Philosophically and technically, there is no later - just now.
That's right, Mr. Taraz, and it is precisely there, in this "now" when we are the protagonist of the story. Nice Wednesday.
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Some of those formula one Lego sets are pretty sweet. Way out of my price range though. Even though many people feel it is a gimmick, I think the concept of love languages has some merit and knowing what your partners are and what yours are can help you understand the other person.
This is a small one, not one of the big Lego Technic ones. It was only about 25€.
It is another framework for understanding and perhaps shaping approach. I think there is merit in better understanding. Though, my wife didn't even start listening to it.
Yeah, those Technic ones are impressive. I've never actually read the book, but I know the concept and I can name just about all of the things in it. I guess the most important part is that I know my wife's, so I know what really impacts her and what doesn't.
I also got married late, after 8 years of our relationship. My wife and I were happy with everything even without a stamp in our passport.
What was the reason for not getting married? It doesn't matter of course about the marriage, but many people have different reasons for getting or not getting.
We both didn't give it much thought. We had no property, nothing to divide in the event of a divorce.
It's amazing that they're thinking about getting married after 15 years. I actually admire them. It's amazing that they've managed to stay together for so long without being married. Only 5% of couples today can do that.
Yeah. An interesting bit of data says that children who grow up in marriages have better outcomes, even compared to those who grow up in long-term relationships but aren't married. Of course, I am sure that there are a lot of caveats in there.
Ahh those kits, they look so cool but there's not a lot else you can use them for XD
So was it F1 in your family like it's footy in some other people's families?
I have to admit it didn't fully enter my consciousness that people could have transactional relationships with family/friends til one of my younger friends said he thought my kids (they're closer to that age than mine) were lucky that we had a "good" relationship (I think it's pretty good but also considered it pretty normal) as they had a very transactional relationship with their parents which all of them had eventually realised as grown ass adults and were trying very hard to fix (which is much better than estrangement which is mostly what I watched happen at uni, this family is at least close).
Is selfishness a past baggage? As while there is definitely a lot of baggage for a lot of people some seem to be just straight up self centred.
According to Smallsteps, it will sit on the table for every race :)
Not so much in the whole family, but we probably watched more than most at the time. Galen is well into it though :) My family weren't really the sports type when I was young however - I was the sporty one.
So much of adult life seems to be trying to get over childhood. We should have better ways to firstly raise kids, and then, deal with the issues early and move on.
You know, I think it is. I don't think kids are inherently selfish, but if they are raised in a transactional relationship, doesn't it also mean that it would work like a business trying to maximise "profit" by getting as much as possible?
Most people will parent exactly the same way they've been parented (if it was good enough for me it's good enough for them because too lazy/stupid to do better I guess) and the ones that try to do different are going to make different mistakes. Some issues aren't going to come up til later and some issues are going to get caused by trying to stop/mitigate issues later. And this parenting technique that worked wonders for one kid will completely and utterly fail for their sib. There isn't a consistently better way, it's just having to consistently get better. And that's probably way too much hard work for most people.
I have now spent a decent chunk of my life researching learning styles and methods and child development with forays into parenting methods and I really don't understand why people adore sticking "purely" to any one particular thing so very much
Hmm, that last paragraph contains a good point.
These Lego kits are fantastic and one toy I do not mind buying on a regular basis. When my grandson uses a phone as the instruction manual I just think it is great that he can follow it step by step without any help and more importantly he enjoys it. These days it is so rare for kids to spend time not involved with computers or tv and to physically build a mini project is a win in itself.