The dull grey background

in OCD6 months ago

I've been feeling a bit like this over the last couple of days...No, not like that bright red, vibrant flower...I mean like the dull, grey background...I've been feeling a little flat I guess.

I know why of course, I'm always careful to understand my moods and attitude, and what has caused me to feel that way, as I came to understand a while ago that determining the reasons for the way I felt was pivotal to improving how I felt.

Due to my feelings I've been less active on hive. I think I even missed posting twice a day yesterday or the day before which is rare for me...I think that's the first time I've only posted once in a day for several months!

I've also not been engaging much; You know, making comments. I've replied to everyone that has commented to me but have not gone out of my way to make many on other people's posts. This is unusual for me considering most weeks I make around 450-530 comments each week. I don't know how many I have done this week, but I think I won't even reach 100. It's all good though, after three years of posting and commenting I think I can have a slow day or two right?

I've got quite a lot on my plate at the moment and have done for a long while. It's all just coming to a head right now and whilst I thought I was prepared, mentally, I think it's worn me down a little.

So, I'm going to shut down for a bit...From everything. I'm going to pull into the pits, shift into neutral, shut the engines off and recharge.

One of the ways I do this is to read. I don't mean read here on hive, I mean a book. I have one already selected and within thirty minutes of publishing this post I'll be into it and won't stop until I complete it. You can see it below, and my computer in the background as I write this very post.

It has been a while since I've read a sporting book, however this one isn't just about American football, which I used to play; It's a true story of triumph and tribulation in small-town America, based around the high school football team in Odessa, Texas. The book is said to be fascinating from cover to cover, glorious and somewhat sad as well. I have seen the movie which I thoroughly enjoyed, and am looking forward to getting stuck into the book...And to leaving y'all behind with the rest of the world for 24 hours or so.

Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow in a post I guess although I don't think little old me will be too badly missed right?...I'll be back, a little more vibrant and alive than I am right now, I hope.


Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.

Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209

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There are times we definitely feel like getting all away, you know from everything. With all the drama happening with steem and well it might be something internal though. I guess in no time you'll be back creating and engaging. That's a magnificent shot there.

I dont know anything about steem drama...And dont want to because I dont care. Fuck steem.

Im all good, just need to switch off for a bit. I work hard at hive and need to keep an arms length sometimes. Thanks for your message.

Yeah you're welcome looking forward to seeing you bringing bad ass engagement and content like you use to

I'll be back...Just needed to gain some arms-length from my computer.

@galenkp take care of you and be good. We will be expecting you back soon.

I'll be around.

Ok good

I tell everyone that I can, real life first. The internet and this community will be here regardless of what’s going on so take care of yourself and family first. I haven’t been able to catch all your posts lately but hopefully your dads doing ok through this, I know it was challenging several weeks ago.

Thanks mate, I'm ok. I just need 24 hours off from posting. I'll be back later today, possibly with a Grouchy Lego post or some such to lighten the mood.

Yeah, dad is still hanging in there. Has lost 9kg in the last 3.5 weeks and has a leg wound that won't heal. They are saying a blocked artery but he refuses to go to hospital and no one can force him. It's the dementia speaking, but I don't blame him. At his age and with his complications I wouldn't go either.

The situation is taking a predictable path.

Anyway, thanks for your message. I'll see you around soon.

Bit of regrouping does wonders. You will feel all the better for it and shit like this will still be here

Some arms-length distance is welcome. It's been a long, long time since I've taken 24 hours off. It's been good not thinking about what I'm posting next or commenting and stuff. I'll be back tonight I guess, will see how I feel.

Sorry to read you're feeling this way. I get the feeling though. And I think it's good you acknowledge it so you can change something. Whatever that may be .. I feel it's good to unplug when this happens, and I don't even feel bad about it anymore (I used to feel shitty when I did and didn't finish what I wanted to finish because of it) Taking care of yourself is more important .. I hope you will feel better soon :) Take care...

It's all good...The G-dog is a bit of a tough-guy when things like this happen. I'm not one to break down and cry or anything. Lol. I just needed a break, to clear my head and not worry about what I was posting for 24 hours. I'll be back, the same crazy dude I was before. Lol.

Great! :)

I like this:

Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.

And we all need a break to escape the dull gray and find some excitement again. I hope you have your color back soon!

Yeah, I'll be that same old brownish-dude I always am in no time! Lol.

That phrase is my life ethos and I've ended my posts with it for years. Good huh?

It’s okay to feel down sometimes,the feeling will definitely pass and you will fell happy again. Take care of yourself please and come back soon.

I'm coming good...I wasn't suicidal or anything, just needed a break from hive posting for a day. I'll be back and the same old dude I was before, and have been here for three years, in no time.

A book is always better than the movie they made of it my friend.
I remember how disappointed I was in the movie "Papillon", as I read the book twice.
But of course scriptwriters have to stay within budgets.
Enjoy your book G-Dog.

It's a good book. I'm almost finished...Read 9 hours straight last night. Lol.

Ah! Also a fast reader. Problem is that I have read hundreds, but can only remember here and there on a lucky occasion:)

I've always been a fast reader...I'm sure there's some reason why I am able to but I'm not sure what that is.

I think the reason is that you don't try to mouth the words when you read.
The eyes are way faster than the mouth and verbalization slows the speed.

Hello dear friend @galenkp
I am sorry that you feel gray and dull, although it is good to take some time and go into the pits to make some adjustments and load batteries.

Without a doubt many people will miss you and others will be happy, one of them will be our friend @tattoodjay now he will be able to take the lead of the competition in ¨The hive engagement league¨

That you enjoy your reading very much

Haha, yeah I won't be at the top of the EL this week that's for sure. I don't think I'll get into the top 100. I don't really care though, I engage for the enjoyment, not to win the EL, so it's all good. I needed a little break.

Have a good rest and enjoy reading, very good choice
Have a great day

Enjoy your recharge. See you around.

I'll be back in a few blinks...It'll be like I never left. Lol.

The movie was great, let us know how the book is.

As someone who played the game (as an adult) I relate to much of it. The highs and lows. I have found the book quite sad though, the way that the whole town rely so heavily on those high school lads and the fortunes (and often mental and emotional state) of the players rely so heavily on their performance. It's a great book though. If you get a chance I'd suggest a read. I'm almost finished it now and have enjoyed it a lot.

Thank you for the recommendation.

Totally understand we all need to get away just for a little from our everyday routines we all need that something different all the best in recharging and enjoy the book see you around soon 👍

Everyone deserves a rest, and no matter how much people are pounding on the door for your attention, it's your own self that you should be most concerned about. A rest is more than deserved, especially with all that's been going on this week alone.

Have a good rest, G-dog. Don't rest too easily though, cause you'll have to watch out for Grouchy trying to snuff you out with a pillow case.

Haha, I'm back already. just wrote almost 4,000 words over two posts for Friday. Lol. One a gun one and one about camping.

Lol, I guess this is what happens when I get backed up, and I scroll through my HIVE feed chronologically! It's like bending time and space. I did see a thumbnail with Grouchy, and what appears to be a Kinder Egg as I quickly scrolled downwards. I'll have to read later on what that might entail :-)

My reset is going outside and getting down and dirty. I have been outside more this week than inside. Bones and muscles ache, but getting a bunch done, as I will be hitting the road Sunday for a month or so. Back to the heavy grind. The PPP loan was a joke. 2.5% of my 2019 earnings, that I always minimize as to not be taxed so heavily. So I got a loan of $2500.00 at 1% interest. That I will use for expenses and not have to pay back. (forgiven) That Mmght Be 25% of what I have lost since the Scam-Demic began. Sooooo I gotta Roll On...! Play catch up, Story of my life...

A month on the road, seems like a long tine but you have to do what you have to I guess . What have been doing at home?

Yard work mostly. The jungle never sleeps. Always trees to trim, brush to cut and burn. I did the yearly pond maint/cleanup. I moved over 120 rocks. From basketball size up to 200lb./ 90k.

Here I am holding the hammock down. Rocks in background.
IMG_20200521_104437.jpg

Repositioned them up the bank and spaced them out farther to make weed trimming easier. So removed around 30 smaller ones.

Had to rewire back up lights on Prime Mover.
20161205_161849.jpg

Making grave markers for our past pets. That sounds weird, Is that creepy.?

photo of markers (first coat of paint)IMG_20200521_164000.jpg

Many many projects. Those are a few of the big ones.

Thanks for asking, I enjoy hearing / seeing Yours & Faiths adventures.

P.S.
This is how KrazzyTrukker cleans the gutters... And pretty much everything else. We would be so lost without this old kubota.!Man in a Bucket 20200424.jpg

You're a handy bugger huh? Good to have skills. Oh by the way, I'd be a little sore after all of that too! Well, i'll be honest, the old bones would probably have given up the ghost! Lol